Sunday, April 24, 2011

Riding the Gratitude Train


Whew. This has been a rough patch, but the load is beginning lighten up, I think. Thank you all for being patient with me. Not only have I had a death in my family, but I've been in one of those "what do I do now" funks, with lots of decisions to be made. I still have hives and we're no closer to figuring out what I might be allergic to. One Doctor thinks I have copper poisioning. Wouldn't that be just peachy, considering what I do for a living? I wake up every morning thinking "Maybe today is the day that they'll go away." and I go to bed every night with the prayer that I won't be itching in the morning. I'm grateful that antihistamines can control them to the point where I can carry on with life in the meantime.

April 16 NC rain/flood

A week ago a string of strong storms came through the state. My portion of it was over 5 inches of rain and the creek flooding into my yard, missing my house by only a few feet. The above picture was taken from my front porch and you can see that at this point the water was just under the bridge. In just a few minutes it was over the top of the bridge and streaming through the yard. The water was so strong and fast that it moved a boulder about a third the size of a Volkswagen Beetle 4 feet downstream. As the storms moved east they strengthened into tornadoes, wiping out much of central and eastern North Carolina, including places in and near Raleigh. 62 tornadoes touched down that day and 20 or more people were killed. I'm grateful that the rain stopped in time to miss flooding my house and that all my friends and family are safe, and only one with a little property damage.

Mercury has been retrograde for the past few weeks, adding to my stress. Apparently the current Mercury Regrograde period has been more serious than most "because of its particular position in the zodiac at this time. Normally it represents communication and paperwork snarls, shifts in schedules and confusing messages. However this episode of the retrograde has represented emotional difficulties as well.", according to my favorite Astrologer, Vivian Carol. This was particularly hard on me becuase of the planets Jupiter and Saturn in my chart. I'm grateful that Mercury went direct yesterday because maybe now my emotions will start calming down.

Those that are close to me (and many who aren't very close) have been so sweet and supportive during this time. I can't count the times I've been asked "What can I do?" And, once in a while I've actually had an asnwer to that question. I am SO grateful for the love and support of my friends and family.

On the other hand,  I've been feeling weighted down by all the negativity and meanness in the world. It just floors me when I turn on the TV and see all the bad news. So it was appropriate to read a post by Kathy Van Kleeck - her call to arms to shift the balance from dark to light. My contribution to this is to quit watching the news! It puts my brain into such an OMG state that I believe it could be physically hurting me. It's certainly another thing that adds to my stress level. I know that I'll be ignorant on current events, but when the current events are based on selfishness, fear, competition, and greed... well, I just can't handle it any more. I'm sure if something important happens I'll hear about it somehow. And hopefully it will be good news. I'm grateful that I'm able to do what my heart wants me to do and that I can make the choice to change the things that disagree with me.

Calico toes

I'm also grateful for little Lola. After 4 trips to Raleigh in as many weeks, she's always so excited to see me when I come home. The purrs and the head butts are plentiful. What a love! I'm happy that her two uncles made her a new scratching post so maybe now my furniture will be spared.

I live in a beautiful place in the middle of nature. I have a cozy home with everything I need and Spring is bursting out all over. I can go to work in my pajamas if I want to and I'm surrounded by people who love me. I try very hard to remember this every day, but it's not always easy. During these recent hard times it's become even more evident that I am truly blessed to be able to live the life I have and I thank all of you for being part of it.

3 comments:

Sue said...

Zoe, your comment about watching the news really hits home with me. I go through periods of anxiety, which gets fueled by all the bad news out there. I was seeing a therapist about it and she told me to just stop reading the newspaper (I gave up tv years ago - I highly recommend it!) I gave her the same reply as you, that I felt I needed to be informed and up on current events. Her response was why? What does it serve other than to make you anxious? I realized she was right, especially given the sensational and biased way the news is reported nowadays. So when I feel the anxiety creeping in, I stop reading the news. It's a huge help and I highly recommend it! Your mental health is far more important than hearing all the crummy things that are going on.

fredracey said...

Welcome back, Zoe. Yes, it has been a very difficult time. And I'm more glad than ever that Lola with the calico toes is there for you! Great pic! Great 4-legged feline! I do believe she's a connection for you to the Divine. She seems to be for you like Pancho was for me. I wonder what Howard would say about your hives? Sweat lodge people keep showing up for me recently. I wish you well, and again, welcome back!

Kathy Van Kleeck said...

Hi Zoe - thanks for the link to my 'call to arms'. I genuinely believe in the power of ONE. I know with our blogs and work, each one of us has vast connections in the world and we absolutely can make a difference. To have a supportive audience and clientele for our handcrafted wares, yes, you and I are very blessed indeed.

I just looked up what Louise Hay says about hives (from Heal Your Body) - "small hidden fears". A pile of small things can add up to a very big thing. One thing I've done in my morning meditations is ask my guides a direct question about my health or current issues and I usually get a pretty quick response - getting quiet and staying that way long enough to hear the answer is the hard part.

Sending my healing prayers and blessings - kvk