My Name is Zoe

I realized recently that there are so many people out there in the interwebs that have only seen my name in print and have never heard me say it. Therefore, most people, except for my close friends and family, don't pronounce my name "right". I don't say it like the character on Sesame Street does, my name is Zoe. Said ZO.... not ZO-EEEE. Like Joe, but with a Z instead of a J.

I never had a problem with people saying my name wrong until Zoe became a popular name in the last 15 years or so. Keep in mind that I'm of "a certain age" and that growing up I was the kid with the weird name. I was teased, called "Zoo" or "Zuzu" (like the little girl in the movie "It's a Wonderful Life"). When introducing myself I always had to spell my name. Many folks would ask "How did you get that name?" and "What does it mean?" Here's the story - not very remarkable, but when my Mom was pregnant she and my Dad were watching the Olympics and there was a swimmer named Zoe. They liked the name and gave it to me. It means "Life" in Greek, but I don't have a drop of Greek in me. These days so many people tell me that their granddaughter is named Zoe. Or their dog is named Zoe. There's a lot of young girls running around out there with my name, all of them pronouncing it wrong! So if you ever have the chance to speak to me in person, remember to leave off the EEEE. It's Zo(e). Thanks.

My Half Birthday

Yesterday was my friend Leslie's birthday and my half-birthday. It was also the day we decided to celebrate Debbi's birthday, which was back in February, but we never got a chance to pamper her. Oh, it did me so much good to get out and be with my friends! It was a gloomy, rainy day, but we were out in it anyway.

Me, Debbi, Leslie

First we had lunch at Bella's, a lovely little Italian restaurant in Banner Elk. We mentioned birthdays to the waitress and wrangled a free desert! Then we took a road trip right in our own back yards. We took the "back way" through Newland to the little community of Crossnore, home of the Crossnore School. We visited their fine arts gallery (which carries some of my work) and saw one of Ben Long's frescos called "Suffer the Little Children" in their little chapel.

It was too rainy to walk their labyrinth.



Then, we hit the thrift store...

But what we really wanted to do was to shop at one of the best nurseries around. Unfortunately, it was so wet and cold that we only looked and oooed and ahhhhed, but didn't buy any flowers. We vowed to go back later this week when its warm and sunny.

We stopped at another lovely nursery/landscaping place on the way home. Too bad the weather wasn't cooperating. I saw LOTS of things that I would have brought home if it wasn't so wet. And, did I mention it was cold? It SNOWED on top of Beech Mountain last night!

I don't know what to say... literally

Note: I had a really great post drafted yesterday when all of a sudden Blogger crashed and now it's all lost. This makes me very grumpy, as I'm having a hard time coming up with blog post ideas to begin with! I'm going to try and re-create it but I'm not feeling the same today as I was yesterday, so here goes...

Okay folks, I need some help here. I'm wondering about this whole blog thing. I feel like it needs a focus and I'm not sure what to do. I started it two years ago because a friend of mine who's a marketing expert said that if I wanted to be successful with my online sales I would need a blog so that my customers could get to know me personally. Also, so that I could show my work in progress and how a particular design goes from an idea in my head to jewelry you can wear. So far my online sales have been infrequent and, frankly, dismal.

I've been thinking about the blogs I read and what makes them interesting. There are many that regularly post "Look what I made" or "Look at the materials I bought" or "Look how messy my workbench is". These are wonderful. I love reading about what my colleagues are doing. Sometimes they have new techniques that I find fascinating. Their new posts show up in my blogger reading list and I go look. Everyone is SO creative!

Then there are the blogs that I intentionally go to every day and I'm disappointed if they haven't posted. These people are pouring their hearts out online. They're wonderful wordsmiths and seem to have interesting lives that they let me in to through their words. I always read and frequently comment. They're not all jewelry artists, but most are artists in one medium or another. Some examples are Kate McKinnon, Andrew Thornton, Ken Thomas and Rice Freeman-Zachery.

My "Look what I made" posts have been rare, mainly because my time in the studio has been so infrequent the last few months. First, my muse left me and I couldn't come up with any ideas that I felt were worthy of the rising cost of silver. Then, I got these damned hives (which I still have) and dealing with them consumes the majority of the hours in my days. And my father died fairly suddenly and that's been very hard on me emotionally. I've been quite depressed.

So, I've been blogging when I can about other stuff besides jewelry, but I really don't feel like my life is all that interesting. I see that the popular blogs are the ones that are updated regularly and my inner critic (whom I'd like to have arrested) says "If you don't post something, people will stop reading", "People might be tired of hearing you whine", and "If you want to sell something in your Etsy Shop, you'd better come up with a blog post."

I really don't know what to do next. I suppose I'll keep meandering my way through the blogosphere with my blah, blah, blah posts and hope I find something interesting to say. If you have any thoughts on this I'd like to know them. In the meantime, thanks for reading!

Oh... Look what I made three months ago:

Copper and Fine Silver Cuff Bracelet

Some Miscellaneous Stuff

I did manage to sneak a few extra pieces into the kiln when I fired student work during my recently completed class session.

This is to remind you (and maybe me!) of what I do for a living.  I've activated my Etsy Shop again and I'm hoping for some sales. It always perks me up to see that email from Etsy saying "Congratulations!".

I think I have my house pretty much back in order. I brought home some things from my Dad's apartment - not too much, as I'd already filled up this place with family things when we cleaned out the house after my Mom died. But there were still a few boxes of stuff that had to find a place to be. While I was doing that I went through a couple of closets and re-packed those boxes with things to go to charity. Stuff in, stuff out! This house is too small to accumulate too much. And, I've even managed to do a little cleaning. Lola is shedding like crazy right now! It's amazing how, when I feel like I have a heavy load on me, that getting my home in order can make me feel better.

I've gone a week without watching news. Well, a little sneaks in here and there like the tornadoes last week, but I mute the TV or turn it off so that I don't get caught up in the drama of what all those poor people are going through. I think it's helping.

I did watch the Royal Wedding yesterday. That was a happy event and I very much enjoyed all the pomp and ceremony that the British are so good at. The hats, the morning coats, the glimpse at royalty... I suppose I get this from my mother, because she loved anything British, especially the royalty. When I was growing up she (jokingly) told me that I should marry Prince Charles. I think she was a little disappointed when he married Diana because the joke was over, but she collected all the memorabilia from their wedding that she could find here in the US. The fact that William married a "commoner" would have enamored her to no end and I'm sure she, too, would have been glued to the TV yesterday. I thought about Mom a lot while I was watching. I was also remembering when I visited Westminster Abbey and Buckingham Palace when I was in London the last time and that brought back some good memories for me.

Hives? Aw, geez, that's still the bane of my existence. It's looking like the antihistamines that I've been on are not working as well as they used to, so I have a few miserable hours every day before I can take the next dose. I've been on zinc supplements for suspected copper poisioning for a month. The Doctor said I might have been a little sensitive to copper, but that's obviously not what's causing these hives. That's good news and bad news. Good news that I can continue to work with copper, but bad news because that would have been a simple solution to these hives. Now I'm seeing an Acupuncturist with no change yet. But it's only been one visit. I found an online forum for Chronic Urticaria (the fancy name for what I have) and see that people's hives have gone away after treatment for other things like the bacteria that causes ulcers (H. Pylori), Candida, Thyroid issues and intestinal parasites. Tests for those things may be the next step.

I'm by no means out of the woods yet, but I can feel some of the profound sadness over my father's death subsiding a little and I'm looking forward to the day these hives clear up. Hopefully the slides backward will be smaller than the strides forward. I'm working on it. Thanks for visiting and blessings to you all.

Riding the Gratitude Train

Whew. This has been a rough patch, but the load is beginning lighten up, I think. Thank you all for being patient with me. Not only have I had a death in my family, but I've been in one of those "what do I do now" funks, with lots of decisions to be made. I still have hives and we're no closer to figuring out what I might be allergic to. One Doctor thinks I have copper poisioning. Wouldn't that be just peachy, considering what I do for a living? I wake up every morning thinking "Maybe today is the day that they'll go away." and I go to bed every night with the prayer that I won't be itching in the morning. I'm grateful that antihistamines can control them to the point where I can carry on with life in the meantime.

April 16 NC rain/flood

A week ago a string of strong storms came through the state. My portion of it was over 5 inches of rain and the creek flooding into my yard, missing my house by only a few feet. The above picture was taken from my front porch and you can see that at this point the water was just under the bridge. In just a few minutes it was over the top of the bridge and streaming through the yard. The water was so strong and fast that it moved a boulder about a third the size of a Volkswagen Beetle 4 feet downstream. As the storms moved east they strengthened into tornadoes, wiping out much of central and eastern North Carolina, including places in and near Raleigh. 62 tornadoes touched down that day and 20 or more people were killed. I'm grateful that the rain stopped in time to miss flooding my house and that all my friends and family are safe, and only one with a little property damage.

Mercury has been retrograde for the past few weeks, adding to my stress. Apparently the current Mercury Regrograde period has been more serious than most "because of its particular position in the zodiac at this time. Normally it represents communication and paperwork snarls, shifts in schedules and confusing messages. However this episode of the retrograde has represented emotional difficulties as well.", according to my favorite Astrologer, Vivian Carol. This was particularly hard on me becuase of the planets Jupiter and Saturn in my chart. I'm grateful that Mercury went direct yesterday because maybe now my emotions will start calming down.

Those that are close to me (and many who aren't very close) have been so sweet and supportive during this time. I can't count the times I've been asked "What can I do?" And, once in a while I've actually had an asnwer to that question. I am SO grateful for the love and support of my friends and family.

On the other hand,  I've been feeling weighted down by all the negativity and meanness in the world. It just floors me when I turn on the TV and see all the bad news. So it was appropriate to read a post by Kathy Van Kleeck - her call to arms to shift the balance from dark to light. My contribution to this is to quit watching the news! It puts my brain into such an OMG state that I believe it could be physically hurting me. It's certainly another thing that adds to my stress level. I know that I'll be ignorant on current events, but when the current events are based on selfishness, fear, competition, and greed... well, I just can't handle it any more. I'm sure if something important happens I'll hear about it somehow. And hopefully it will be good news. I'm grateful that I'm able to do what my heart wants me to do and that I can make the choice to change the things that disagree with me.

Calico toes

I'm also grateful for little Lola. After 4 trips to Raleigh in as many weeks, she's always so excited to see me when I come home. The purrs and the head butts are plentiful. What a love! I'm happy that her two uncles made her a new scratching post so maybe now my furniture will be spared.

I live in a beautiful place in the middle of nature. I have a cozy home with everything I need and Spring is bursting out all over. I can go to work in my pajamas if I want to and I'm surrounded by people who love me. I try very hard to remember this every day, but it's not always easy. During these recent hard times it's become even more evident that I am truly blessed to be able to live the life I have and I thank all of you for being part of it.

"Stay Close"

By Amy Ludwig Van Derwater

When sorrow comes
to those you love
stay close.

When sadness is
more powerful than words
more powerful
than deeds
your warm hand
your quiet company
your self in a chair
saying nothing
will be a gift.

You may wonder
"What can I do?"
There may be
nothing
you can do.

You may wish
to run
Do not run.

Hold hands.
Eat soup.
Listen.
Trace a sunbeam
with your fingers
on the table.

Let yourself smile.
Let yourself cry.

When sorrow comes
to those you love
stay close.

When sorrow comes
to you
let others
stay close too.

Please Bear With Me

There's SO MUCH going on right now. And a lot of it I'm not ready to share. What I will say is that I'm exhausted and I need some time to put myself back together. I need to let some things (like this blog) go for a little while so that I can concentrate on the things that are important and be able to come back here and have something meaningful to say. So, this is it for awhile. I'll be back as soon as I can. I love all of you and thank you for understanding about needing a break.